Camp Elibe
by Pegasus Knight Salvo
Summary: Secret Santa gift for Zeldamaster. Hope you like it. It may seem random, but here it is


Secret Santa Fanfiction Exchange. (SSFE, which could also be Secret Santa Fire Emblem, but I'll put that thought aside)

The name who I have received: Zeldamaster.

Title: Camp Elibe.

Description: A fanficton written in a play format. Various characters from Fire Emblem (blazing sword) shall be at a summer camp. It is intended to be a comedy, though my humor is oft hard to find in such things as this. I guess this could also be called a parody…I hope. The scene that is written is about the archery class, where EVERYONE has to participate…I mean everyone…Zeldamaster, I do hope you like this; It may seem like complete rubbish, but I wish you a Merry Christmas.

Oh…The director of this camp…is the tactician, who I shall name…Marc. Isn't that the default name? Let us begin.

**Camp Elibe**

**Scene: The Joys of Archery**

Marc: Alright…everybody, listen up. The past few days have been fun, but now things are to get serious. We need to train for future battles.

Lyn: [nods] That seems reasonable.

Eliwood: I would have to agree with you, Marc. We cannot be lax in keeping our skills sharp.

Hector: [shrugs] So, what? Do we spar? What are you planning?

Marc: Well…I was thinking of helping everyone's accuracy increase, by having you all practice archery today.

Wil: I see no problem with that! It sounds fun!

Rebecca: It's fine with me! I don't have any problems with practicing!

Rath: …..

Kent: I shall practice to my full capability.

Sain: I shall so as well! I will show all the beauties here how spectacular I am with a bow!

Serra: Ooooooh! Erk, did you hear that? We're going to be archers today!

Erk: I know. Your incessant chatter will be the end of my sanity…

[The others either nod or state their agreement]

Florina: U-um…Marc…?

Marc: Hmm? What's the matter, Florina?

Florina: …can I pass on this activity…?

Marc: Do you wish to improve?

Florina: Yes, but…!

Marc: Then you shall practice with everyone else. Your Pegasus shall be out of harm's way, I assure you.

Merlinus: Why do I have to? I just stand in place, holding all your weaponry and such!

Marc: You will have to learn to defend yourself!

Merlinus: A-alright…

Marc: Everyone! To the plains!

[At the plains]

_The various characters' attempts to use the bow shall be put here._

**Eliwood**

Eliwood: So, you hold it like this…and the arrow goes here. Umm…you pull the string back and…? [He does not release the arrow quick enough, nor did he pull the string back far enough. The arrow falls to the ground, mocking him] I see…this is quite pointless, but I shall try once more. [The same thing occurs again and again, etc.]

Marc: [sighs]

**Hector**

Hector: Blast it! This stupid bow is defective! It won't fire!

Marc: Hector…you need arrows in order to fire them…

Hector: Really?

Marc: Very.

Hector: Hmm…are you sure?

Marc: Absolutely.

Hector: How odd.

**Lyn**

Lyn: [she is the first non archer to successfully fire an arrow] It didn't go far….but it flew true…

Marc: Did the Sacae teach you to use a bow?

Lyn: No…not everyone used a bow, you know…

Marc: Actually, I didn't know…

**Matthew**

Matthew: What a waste of time… [he is lounging on the grass, yawning]

Marc: What are you doing?

Matthew: My speed's high enough already. I don't need to practice with bows…

Marc: …What if I told you that if you practiced with that bow, I'd tell you where I saw an unopened treasure chest?

Matthew: Then practice may actually be worthwhile.

Marc: Then practice!

Matthew: Treasure time…here I come!

**Wallace**

Wallace: Hmph! What a flimsy weapon! That's the third one I've broken!

Marc: Umm…you don't have to practice if you don't want to…

Wallace: Everyone else is, so I will as well! Now get me another bow, boy!

Marc: o-okay!

**Wil**

Wil: This is fun! Seeing everyone else try their hardest is amusing, am I right or am I right?

Marc: It was either archery or magic, so I took the lesser of two evils.

Wil: Magic? That sounds exciting! Let's do that next, alright?

Marc: …me and my big mouth…

**Rebecca**

Rebecca: lalalala~

Marc: Um…what are you doing?

Rebecca: What do you think? I'm making lunches for everyone! With all of this practice, they're bound to be hungry!

Marc: What about you saying that you'd never pass an opportunity to practice?

Rebecca: Already did! All my arrows are gone, and you'll find them all in the target!

Marc: …

Rebecca: Do you want a lunch? You look pale…

**Kent**

Kent: I must apologize, but I am afraid that the bow and I are not a good match.

Marc: It's oke—

Kent: I will continue to practice, for it is what you commanded of us, so fear not. I shall persevere until the end!

Marc: …you do that. I have high hopes for you.

Kent: Yes, sir!

**Sain**

Sain: I did not know…that firing an arrow…could be so difficult. Oh, beauteous Serra! Please heal me with your angelic face…and your staff!

Marc: You're shameless [he leaves]

Sain: Who knew that an arrow could backfire…?

**Florina**

Florina: I-I actually hit the target…!

Marc: Why are you trembling?

Florina: The bow, it scares me so much that I…I can't go on!

Marc: Ah, Florina! Blast it all to oblivion! Lyn! She's fainted!

**Rath**

Rath: …

Marc: …

Rath: …..what?

Marc: Good job.

Rath: …..

Marc: ….. [He leaves]

Rath: …..thanks.

**Linus**

Linus: ….ha!

Marc: What in the…? Why are you here?

Linus: You said everyone had to participate, so here I am.

Marc: But you're the enemy!

Linus: So? Do you want to fight?

Marc: N-no…continue.

**Merlinus**

Merlinus: I hit something!

Marc: That was Sain you hit, you dolt!

**Jaffar**

Jaffar: …

Marc: Whoa! You're better than I thought!

Jaffar: …..

Marc: …..

Jaffar: The penalty was death.

Marc: W-what?

Jaffar: So I learned.

Marc: Ahh…..

Jaffar: …

Marc: Okeeeeeey…..

**Erk**

Erk: …Marc! Help!

Marc: hmm?

Erk: Please, take Serra's bow from her. She's bound to kill us all with her terrible aim!

Marc: [they both duck a wildly shot arrow] Curse the seven hells! She _WILL_ kill us all!

[A few hours later…]

Marc: I'm going to kill myself.

Kent: What? I cannot allow it!

Marc: Whyever not? This was a stupid, stupid idea…

Lyn: Marc, you're our tactician, like it or not.

Hector: You cannot die. We will restrain you if we must.

Marc: …someone put me out of my misery!

Jaffar: [he wonders why everyone has turned to glare at him]...?

Marc: Ugh! That's It! I'm done with this Camp! From now on, life is back to normal!

Eliwood: I am afraid that that is impossible. We all have trained, and believe that we have actually improved somewhat. It was a good idea, Marc.

Matthew: Besides, who would tell me where the treasure is? Dead men tell no tales, you know!

Wil: Yeah! Next we learn magic!

Everyone: WHAT?

Marc: I can't take it anymore…!

A/N: Perhaps this could be continued. Hope you like it, Zeldamaster. Marc's idea has gone horribly wrong….and the others want to continue the camp!

Actually, the Garcia/Dozla support conversations inspired me for this. Not only is it hilarious, it is….well, hilarious!

This is Salvo, and I hope that all who read this have a merry X-mas!

And a happy New Year, just in case I forgot~


End file.
